The Whole Kitten Caboodle
by StBridget
Summary: Steve finds a litter of kittens and a mama cat and takes them in. Ninja the cat verse. Status is COMPLETE (promise this time :) ).
1. Chapter 1

**Hawaii Five-0 is property of CBS and its creators.  
**

 **A/N: My 100th story! I wanted it to be something major in one of my storylines. Hope this hits the mark!**

Steve was sitting in his chair down by the water when he saw the cat. He'd noticed her around but hadn't paid much attention. She was a silver tabby with a white bib and paws. She was clearly a stray—her fur was dirty and patchy, and he could see her ribs. Or had been able to. He'd noticed her getting plumper over the last few weeks and assumed a neighbor was feeding her.

She'd attracted Steve's attention tonight because she appeared to be going into the crawl space under the house. He'd noticed a tear in the mesh over one of the vents and had made a mental note to repair it but hadn't gotten around to it. Now he was glad he hadn't. Steve knew the cat needed shelter from the frequent rainstorms, and he was happy to be able to provide it.

Steve noticed she appeared to be thinner and wondered if whatever neighbor had been feeding her had stopped. That was a shame. Maybe he should start. He could hear Danny in his head: "What do you want to go feeding some mangy stray for? You'll never get rid of her now!" Steve could admit that maybe he didn't want to get rid of her. He had a soft spot for cats, after all he had one, and he hated to see one half-starved and alone on the streets.

The cat exited the crawl space and trotted off across the yard, only to return a few minutes later. Steve noticed something in her mouth and assumed she'd caught a bird or a mouse—after all, there were plenty around. She repeated the process. Steve thought that was odd. Why was she bringing more than one carcass? As far as he knew, cats didn't hoard their food; they ate what they killed almost immediately and didn't store multiple kills. On the fourth trip, Steve heard a mewling sound. Was the creature still alive? Then he realized what it was: a kitten. She was hiding kittens under his house. No wonder her weight was fluctuating—she wasn't gaining and losing weight; she was pregnant.

Steve was more determined than ever to take care of the cat. If possible, he had to get her and the kittens out from under the house. He knew that would be quite a feat, and he'd have to go carefully. He couldn't just steal the kittens while Mama Cat (as he now thought of her) was out hunting; they weren't old enough to be on their own, and Mama Cat would be very distressed looking for her babies. He had to go slowly, see if he could lure Mama Cat out, and when the kittens got old enough, try and capture them at least.

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Over the next few weeks, Steve set out food for Mama Cat twice a day, trying to get her used to his presence. The first week, she refused to come out if Steve was anywhere in his line of sight, so he'd leave the food and go down to his chair, watching from a distance. By the second week, he could sit a couple of hundred feet away. This continued, with Steve moving closer each week, until, by the end of the fourth week, he could sit about 20 feet away without Mama Cat running off.

That was when the kittens started coming out. They were adorable. They showed little fear of Steve, although they didn't come up to him. There was a black one that reminded him of his cat, Ninja (Steve would have thought Ninja was the father if he hadn't known better), and three silver tabbies, one of them with a white bib and paws like Mama Cat.

One night, the black kitten, who seemed the most adventurous, paraded right up to Steve. It gave out the most adorable little meow, demanding attention. Steve reached down to pet it. It purred and rubbed its head against Steve's hand. Steve cautiously picked it up, waiting for it to spook, scratch him, and run off, but all it did was purr louder. It really did look like Ninja. Steve decided to call it NJ, for Ninja Junior (and again he heard Danny in his head: "Naming it now? You're really in trouble", but Steve didn't care.)

Mama cat looked up from her food at another "meow" from the kitten. She looked ready to run but paused, torn between fleeing and protecting her kitten. Steve held the kitten out to her, and she approached tentatively, touching noses with it as if to reassure it.

Steve placed NJ on his lap and reached out a hand cautiously towards Mama Cat. She backed up a step but didn't run. Steve kept his hand out. She slowly approached and sniffed his hand, then rubbed against it. Steve still didn't move, letting Mama Cat take the initiative. She rubbed against him a little more confidently, and he heard a soft purr.

It was time to see about getting Mama Cat and the kittens inside. Steve didn't want to push his luck and act immediately, but he had NJ, and he wasn't sure when he'd get another opportunity. He picked up NJ and headed towards the house, Mama Cat following a few feet behind.

When Steve reached the back door, he paused, uncertain of what to do next. Ninja was inside, and there was no telling how he'd react to Mama Cat and NJ. There was a good chance he'd be hostile and another good chance that he'd try and make a break for it through the open door. Then he had a thought—he could put them in Ninja's catio!

Steve carried NJ to the catio and placed him inside, Mama Cat still following. NJ immediately set to exploring. Steve exited the catio and stood a few feet away, waiting to see what Mama Cat would do.

Mama Cat slowly crept towards the catio, all senses on alert. NJ seemed quite content, hopping into Ninja's bed to knead it for a few minutes, then sharpening his tiny claws on the perch before circling the perimeter, nosing into every corner. Bit by bit, Mama Cat made her way into the catio, and NJ ran up to her and rubbed against her. She licked him affectionately and made no move to retreat.

Moving very slowly so as not to startle Mama Cat, Steve shut the door of the catio, leaving her inside. Mama cat looked startled when the latch clicked into place and tried to run, but couldn't go anywhere. She backed defensively into a corner and cowered. Steve just stood there patiently.

Gradually, Mama Cat relaxed. NJ was still exploring, and sensing no threat, Mama Cat emerged from her corner and joined her kitten in inspecting their new surroundings. Satisfied things were going to be okay, Steve went to get the other kittens.

He'd only gotten halfway across the lanai when he felt something batting at his ankle. He looked down to see NJ. It took him a second to figure out how the kitten had gotten there, but then realization dawned. "You little scamp! You crawled through the chain link, didn't you?" Steve would have to do something about that, maybe block the holes with some plywood, but that could wait. He didn't think the kittens would go very far from their mother. Sure enough, when it became clear Steve wasn't going to pay attention to him, NJ pranced back into the catio and curled up in Ninja's bed for a nap.

Steve went to round up the other kittens and deposited them in the catio. He realized he needed to call them something, and Kittens 1, 2, and 3 just seemed awkward. He settled on "Tiger" and "Tabby" for the two silver tabbies and "Tuxy" for the other one. He figure those names were uninvested enough to keep him from getting attached; he had no plans on keeping them (NJ was an exception. He found himself already getting attached to the little black kitten. He hoped Ninja wouldn't mind a friend).

Once the kittens were settled (they'd all joined NJ for a nap after exploring their new surroundings), Steve found some plywood to block the sides of the catio under Mama Cat's watchful eye. The wood only went up a couple of feet, which Steve figured would be fine. The kittens didn't seem to be climbing yet, and he could still look in and see Mama Cat.

Steve went inside and found Ninja sitting in the window overlooking the catio. His tail was twitching angrily, but he wasn't hissing or spitting, which Steve took as a good sign. He petted the black cat, who allowed the touch but remained focused on the interlopers. "What do you think, buddy? Can they stay a few days?" (And even longer for NJ, Steve added to himself).

Ninja meowed. It didn't sound happy, but it wasn't the bloodcurdling yowl that usually signaled discord, so again, Steve opted to take it positively.

Ninja remained on guard at the window while Steve fixed himself something to eat and settled down to watch tv, keeping one eye on the cat.

Eventually, Mama Cat seemed to notice Ninja. She hopped up on the ledge running around the edge of the catio and looked curiously at Ninja. Ninja hissed and arched his back, but Mama Cat's only reaction was to meow inquisitively. Eventually, Ninja relaxed and touched his nose tentatively to the window. Mama Cat responded in kind, and they touched noses through the glass. Steve felt some of the tension he'd been feeling drain. Maybe this was going to work out.

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In the morning, Steve called Chin to say he wouldn't be coming in (he avoided Danny because he knew the blond would grill him on his reasons, and he wasn't willing to admit he was staying home to take care of a stray cat and litter of kittens. The rant would be epic.) Then he called the vet. The whole family needed to be checked out, and Mama Cat needed shots if she was going to stay with Steve and Ninja.

The vet was able to get Steve in later that afternoon. Now, how to get them all to the vet? Mama Cat could go in Ninja's carrier, but the kittens wouldn't fit. So what was he going to do with them? Steve found a cardboard box and loaded them into it. It was a lot harder than he thought. The kittens thought he was playing, and scattered when he went for them. He'd get one in the box with no problem, then he'd add a second and the first would climb on it and get out of the box. NJ was especially good at that. Steve had to put him back in the box four or five times before he even got his hands on a third kitten.

Finally, Steve got them all in. Tabby was easy; she just curled up in a corner and went to sleep. But that gave NJ a stationery step-stool to get out; Steve put him in three more times before giving up. Tiger went next. He stretched as far as he could and raked his claws on the side of the box but didn't seem to realize he could use Tabby to climb out, thank goodness. Steve came up behind Tuxy and picked him up, leaving the kitten very confused. Steve managed to plop him in the box and grab NJ before Tuxy had quite figured out what was going on. As soon as NJ was in, Steve slammed the flaps down and fastened them. That didn't keep a little black paw from poking out, though.

Steve carried Mama Cat out to the car, yowling all the way, and put her on the floor of the passenger side. The box of kittens he placed on the seat.

Steve turned on the radio to drown out Mama Cat's cries and headed towards the vet. About halfway there, he felt something bat at him and looked down to see NJ peering up at him with big, green eyes. How'd he get there? Steve spared a glance at the passenger seat. The box had been knocked over, and kittens were swarming the truck. Tabby, who seemed to be the lazy one, had gone to sleep again on the seat. Tiger was perched on the seat back. Tuxy was on top of Mama Cat's cage, meowing a counterpoint to her cries. NJ had crawled onto Steve's lap and was kneading away. Steve yelped as tiny claws dug into sensitive parts of his anatomy.

How on earth was he going to get to the vet's office with kittens climbing all over his truck? Steve prayed they would just stay put until he got there, but he had no such luck. Tiger walked across the seat back and perched on Steve's shoulder while NJ jumped into the seat well and began sniffing around the pedals. He shrieked when Steve accidentally stepped on his tail.

Steve swore and pulled over. He swept all the kittens back into the box, slammed the flaps down, and drove as quickly as he could to the vet's. He arrived just as the kittens found their way out again. Now what was he going to do? It was going to take two trips to get Mama Cat and all the kittens into the vet's, and how was he going to keep the kittens contained doing that? He was afraid if he took Mama Cat first, the kittens would leap out of the truck as he was getting her out, and if he took the kittens first, they'd be all over the waiting room by the time he got back with Mama Cat. He needed help.

Steve hopped out of the truck and slammed the door on NJ's curious face. He went into the office. "Commander McGarrett. I have an appointment."

Sue, the receptionist, smiled at him. "Hello, Commander. Is this for Ninja?"

"No," Steve said. "I found a mama cat and some kittens. I wanted to get them checked out."

"I see." Sue consulted her computer. "We have an exam room ready for you. You can go right in."

"Um, thanks, but could I get some help?"

"Certainly." Sue picked up the phone, and in a moment Xenia, one of the techs, came out.

"Sue said you needed some help, Commander?"

"Yeah, I've got a bunch of kittens loose in my truck, and I need to get them inside."

Xenia smiled. "I'll be happy to help you."

They went out to the truck, and Steve cautiously opened the door. The kittens raced towards him (except for Tabby, who was asleep again). Steve grabbed NJ and Tiger, and Xenia grabbed Tuxy.

"Aren't you a sweetie?" She cooed. "What's your name?"

"Tuxy," Steve said curtly, trying to hold onto two squirming kittens.

Xenia brought the kitten up to her face and kissed the tiny nose. "Tuxy. What kind of name is that? You need an elegant name, just like you. How about Sylvia, because you're silver."

"Lovely," Steve said, losing the battle with NJ, who scampered back into the truck. "Can we just get them in before we discuss names?"

"Oh, sorry." Xenia reluctantly put Tuxy (or was it Sylvia now?) into the box and helped Steve round up the others. Then she took the box while Steve carried a still-protesting Mama Cat.

Once in the exam room, Steve closed the door, and Xenia put the box on the floor. Kittens immediately erupted out of it, tumbling into the room and setting out to explore every inch.

Xenia got out a fresh sheet of paper and wrote Steve's name on it. "Now, what are their names?"

Steve pointed. "Mama Cat, Tiger, Tabby, NJ, and Tuxy."

"Sylvia," Xenia said.

"How do you know it's a girl?"

Xenia picked up the kitten and examined it. "It's a girl. So, what are you going to do with them?"

Steve shrugged. "I dunno. I hadn't really thought about it. Give them away, I guess. Except NJ. I'm keeping him."

"If you're looking for homes, I'll take Sylvia," Xenia offered.

"They won't be ready for a few weeks," Steve said.

"I know, but when they are."

"Don't you have to consult with your husband or boyfriend or someone?"

Xenia shook her head. "Nope. I live alone."

"What about your other pets?"

"They'll be fine," Xenia said. "They're used to me bringing in new ones."

"Okay then," Steve said. "She's yours."

Xenia beamed. "Great."

She set to weighing the kittens and taking their temperature. Steve was amazed at how well she handled the unruly bunch, but then, he figured she had a lot of practice. Once the kittens were weighed, it was time to weigh Mama Cat. Steve approached the carrier with trepidation. He opened the door and stepped back, waiting to see what would happen. A nose and a set of whiskers appeared, followed slowly by the rest of the cat. As soon as she was out, Xenia grabbed her. Mama cat yowled and squirmed away, digging her claws into Xenia.

"Um, did I mention she's feral?" Steve said.

Xenia sent him a withering glare. "Thank you, Commander McGarrett. I kind of figured that out."

She reached for Mama Cat again, but she wedged herself under the bench and hissed. Xenia withdrew her hand, not wanting to get scratched again. "Why don't you see if you can get her, Commander?" Xenia suggested.

"Me? What makes you think I'll have any luck?"

"You got her here," Xenia pointed out.

Steve squatted down and held his hand out to Mama Cat. She hissed a couple of times, but gradually calmed. She sniffed his hand and let him pet her. "Can I pick you up?" he asked her softly.

She just kept rubbing his hand and purring, so Steve carefully reached in and wrapped his arms around her, drawing her out. She squirmed but didn't struggle the way she had with Xenia. Steve drew her to his chest and murmured soothingly at her. She looked at him with frightened eyes but held still.

"She likes you, Commander," Xenia said. "Now, let's see if we can weigh her."

Steve placed her on the scale, and she huddled there while Xenia got her weight, then allowed Steve to pick her up again. He held her while Xenia took her temperature. She let out a meow of protest, but stayed in Steve's arms.

"All done," Xenia said. "The vet will be with you in a moment."

Steve waited, and shortly, Dr. Wynn, his favorite vet, came in.

"Hello, Commander McGarrett," she said. "I understand you have some kittens and a mama cat."

"Yeah," Steve confirmed. "I just wanted to get them checked out."

"What are you planning to do with them?"

"Adopt them out, I guess."

"Are you planning to keep them in the meantime?" Dr. Wynn asked.

"Yes, of course," Steve said, as if there were no question.

"And are you familiar with raising kittens?"

"Well, no," Steve admitted.

The vet smiled at him. "I'll get you some instructions. Now, let's see what you've got."

She examined each of the kittens in turn. NJ was, indeed, a boy, but Tiger, Tabby, and of course Sylvia, were all girls. She looked in their ears and their eyes, and pronounced them healthy except for fleas and mites. "They're too young for pesticides," Dr. Wynn said. "I suggest you give them a bath with baby shampoo."

"Okay," Steve said, wondering how on earth he was going to manage to bathe four kittens.

Next, Dr. Wynn examined Mama Cat. "She's somewhat malnourished, and of course, also has fleas and mites, but we'll treat those and deworm her and give her her shots, and she should be fine, though you probably want to bathe her as well."

"I've been feeding her," Steve said.

"What have you been feeding her?"

"Ninja's wet food."

"A nursing mother needs extra protein. We'll get you set up."

Steve thanked the vet and took his leave. They were kind enough to give him two cardboard pet carriers for the kittens, and he loaded them up and drove home before they could find their way out (Steve was sure NJ would, given enough time. He was a little escape artist). Steve carried them all into the house and pondered his next task: bathing them. That should be even more interesting.

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The first thing Steve did was put Ninja in the catio. Ninja stalked around, hissing, smelling the intruders. At last, he seemed satisfied and curled up on his perch, tail still twitching, glare still fixed on Steve, but at least somewhat accepting. Steve would take what he could get.

Steve decided to start with the kittens. He didn't want to leave Mama Cat in the carrier, though, and he couldn't put her back in the catio because Ninja was there. He decided to set up the exercise pen his partner Danny left at Steve's house for his dog Bullet. It even had a cover, so it would be perfect. It probably wouldn't hold the kittens, though, but Steve would deal with that later.

Steve carried the two cardboard carriers up to the bathroom. He figured he was just in time—the top to the one NJ was in had a widening crack, and a persistent black paw was poking out. He deposited the kittens in the tub and turned on the shower, grateful he had a removable head. He found some baby shampoo Danny had brought over so his son Charlie could wash the salt out of his hair after swimming. Steve grabbed the first kitten that came to hand (Tuxy—err, Sylvia—as it turned out) and carefully wet her down. He had to put her down to get some shampoo, though, and she scampered away. Now he had a handful of shampoo and no kitten to put it on. He reached out with his left hand to grab Sylvia, but she danced out of his way, and NJ started batting at his hand. Finally, he managed to grab her and soap her up, making sure to get her whole body and her ears, and then rinse her off.

After that, it got easier. Steve devised a system. He'd put some shampoo in his left hand, then grab a kitten with his right, wet, soap, and rinse. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Finally, all the kittens were clean. He toweled them off, then tried to figure out what to do with them. He knew it would take NJ about 30 seconds to find his way out of the ex pen, and the others wouldn't be far behind. Ninja probably would not appreciate their company in the catio. So where to put them? Steve finally decided to leave them in the bathroom. He went down to get Mama Cat, narrowly preventing NJ's escape (Steve actually had to scoop him up and deposit him back in the bathroom.)

Steve went downstairs and found Mama Cat curled up on the bed Danny kept at Steve's for Bullet, which Steve had had the foresight to put the pen around. Mama Cat watched Steve with wide eyes and tensed as he approached her but didn't run. He held out his hand, and she cautiously approached. He gave her a few pets, and then carefully picked her up. She tensed again but soon relaxed as Steve stroked her.

Steve grabbed a bag of Ninja's treats on his way upstairs. He figured he'd need something to bribe Mama Cat with to get back in her good graces after he bathed her. He put her down on the bathroom floor and let her have a few minutes with her kittens before putting her in the tub. She didn't like that at all and scrabbled to get out but couldn't find purchase. Steve stroked her some more until she calmed, then carefully wet her. She snarled and lashed out at him when he went to shampoo her, leaving angry red marks down his arm. Still, Steve managed to grab her and shampoo her and then rinse her. As soon as he lifted her out of the tub, she shot behind the toilet and scrunched herself in.

Steve set out a few treats and waited. After a few minutes, she came out and ate the treats. Steve expected her to retreat again, but she stayed, watching him warily. At last she came up and rubbed against him, and he figured all was forgiven.

He carried her back downstairs and put her in the pen, leaving the kittens in the bathroom for the time being. It was time to introduce Mama Cat to Ninja.

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Steve carried Ninja inside and set him in front of the pen. Mama Cat was napping on the bed, but she opened her eyes and looked curiously at Ninja. Ninja arched his back and hissed. Mama Cat just blinked. Realizing he wasn't going to get a reaction, Ninja gave up and went over to his perch, climbing up and laying down.

So far, so good. Kitten time. Steve started with NJ, since he would be staying the longest (like, permanently). He held the tiny kitten out to Ninja. Ninja sniffed carefully. NJ mewed. Ninja pulled back, startled.

Not getting any bigger reaction than that, Steve decided to push his luck a little. He put NJ on the perch next to Ninja. Ninja immediately settled down and began trying to suckle Ninja's non-existent nipples. Ninja sent Steve a frantic look. "Help me!" it clearly said.

Steve chuckled and picked up NJ. Ninja visibly relaxed. Steve put NJ in with Mama Cat, and the kitten immediately settled down to nurse, having a lot more luck with Mama Cat than with Ninja.

Steve brought the next kitten down. He showed it to Ninja, but didn't bring it up to him. He figured he'd subjected Ninja to enough for now. That kitten also settled in to nurse, as did the next two.

Ninja came down off his perch and approached the pen while the kittens were nursing. Mama Cat looked warily at him but didn't move. Ninja sat in front of the pen and watched curiously. When NJ finished nursing, he bounded over to Ninja and started rubbing against him. Ninja backed up, but NJ followed him. The older cat shot Steve another pleading look, but Steve just shrugged, waiting to see what would happen.

The other kittens followed NJ, and soon Ninja was surrounded by kittens. The black cat looked a bit panicked, but he wasn't running. The kittens climbed all over him, enjoying conquering Mt. Ninja. Mama Cat came to the edge of the pen and meowed questioningly. Ninja meowed back. Mama Cat seemed satisfied and sat watching. Eventually, the kittens grew tired of playing and made their way back to the pen, curling up on the bed for a nap. Mama Cat laid down with them, and Ninja went back to his perch. An accord seemed to have been reached. Steve sighed in relief.

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The next morning, Steve knew he had to go to work, as much as he wanted to stay and look after his visitors. Danny was going to give him enough grief for staying home one day; he'd never hear the end of it if he stayed home for more.

Steve pondered what to do with Mama Cat and the kittens while he was at work. He didn't want to leave them unattended in the house, even in the pen, especially since that wouldn't hold the kittens. He didn't want them getting into mischief while he was gone. He decided to put them in the catio. They'd be fine, and he'd run and check on them at lunchtime.

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As expected, Steve got the third degree from Danny when he got to work. "Where were you yesterday?" the blond demanded.

"Home," Steve said, hoping he could avoid further explanation.

No such luck. "I know that," Danny said. "I want to know why you were home."

"I had something to take care of," Steve said evasively.

"Were you sick? No, that can't be it. You're never sick." Danny put a hand to Steve's forehead just to be sure. "Nope, not sick. Is it Mary? Is everything okay?"

"No, not Mary," Steve replied.

"Then what on earth was so important that you had to stay home?"

Steve was about to answer when his phone rang. "McGarrett. Uh-huh. Yes, everything's fine, thank you for asking. Yes, Ninja seems to be doing fine. Yes, I'll keep you posted." He hung up to find Danny looking at him with concern.

"Was that the vet? Is it Ninja? Is something wrong? Is that why you stayed home?"

Steve avoided Danny's eyes. "No, Ninja's fine."

Danny eyed him, trying to figure out what was on his mind. "But that was the vet, wasn't it?" Steve nodded, still not meeting Danny's eyes. "So if it isn't Ninja, what is it?"

Steve knew he had no choice but to tell the truth. "I found some kittens," he said, "and their mama. I took them to the vet and got them checked out."

Danny's look didn't waver. "Uh-huh. And I'm guessing you didn't just leave them there for the vet to deal with."

"I couldn't Danny!" Steve said. "They're so small, and so helpless! Somebody needs to look after them!"

Danny sighed. "And of course it had to be you, SuperSeal. What do you know about raising kittens, anyway?"

"The vet gave me some instructions," Steve said.

"And what does Ninja think of this?"

"He's okay with it," Steve said. "Not thrilled, but okay."

"And just what are you going to do with them?"

Steve looked away again.

"Steve," Danny said, grabbing his chin and forcing Steve to look at him. "Don't tell me you're thinking of keeping them." Steve remained silent. "You are! You are thinking of keeping them! Just how many are there, anyway?" Danny demanded.

"Four, plus the mama," Steve said quietly.

"Are you out of your mind? What in the world are you going to do with four kittens and a mama cat? You already have one cat! How do you expect to keep up with six?"

"Xenia at the vet's already said she'd take one of them," Steve defended himself.

"Alright, five then. That's still more cats than you need. You have trouble keeping up with one some days."

"I'm not keeping them all!" Steve protested.

Steve got The Eye again. "Just how many are you thinking of keeping?"

"One?" Steve said meekly.

"One! That's still one more than you need! You shouldn't be keeping any!"

"But he looks like Ninja! And he likes Ninja! And Ninja likes him. Well, sort of. Ninja doesn't hate him, anyway."

Danny sighed. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked fondly. "That's still two kittens and a mama cat left. What are you going to do with them?"

"Find homes for them, I guess." Steve had a sudden thought. "I don't suppose Grace would like a kitten?"

Danny snorted. "Not likely. Rachel's allergic."

"She could keep it at your house."

"No, no way," Danny said firmly. "I have a dog, remember?"

"Maybe Bullet would like some feline company."

"Absolutely not. I do not and never will need or want a cat, kitten, or any other member of the feline family. A dog is quite enough?"

"But what if Grace wants one?" Steve pressed.

"She's not getting one. In fact, she's going to stay far away from you until they're grown and at their new homes."

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Danny's decree lasted just over a week, until he and Grace had to come by for the swimsuit she'd left at Steve's house. The kittens were curled up on the dog bed, and Grace made a beeline for them. "Oh, my God, they're so cute! Can I have one, Danno? Please?"

"No, you may not. Your mom's allergic, remember?" Danny swiped a handful of Ninja's treats while he was talking and held them out.

"It could live at your place."

"No, it could not," Danny said adamantly. Mama Cat smelled the treats and came up to Danny, daintily eating the treats one by one from his hand. Steve pretended not to notice. "And don't even think about giving me the puppy dog eyes. The answer's no, and that's final."

"Okay, fine." Grace pouted for a moment. "What are their names, Uncle Steve?"

"That one's NJ," Steve said, pointing at the kitten in question. "I'm keeping him. That one," he pointed at Sylvia, "is Sylvia. Xenia at the vet's is taking her. The other two don't really have names. I just call them Tiger and Tabby."

"You should name them," Grace said. "How about. . ."

Danny stopped her before she got any further. "You are not naming them. If you name them, you'll just get attached." He stroked Mama Cat, who was now winding around his ankles.

"You're no fun," Grace said, pouting again. "What's the mama's name?" she asked Steve.

"I just call her Mama Cat," Steve said.

"Mama Cat. What kind of a name is that?" Danny scoffed. "You could at least come up with something creative. At least Fluffy, although she isn't. Sheba maybe. That's sounds majestic, though, and let's face it," he told the cat, "you're not. Let's see. Maybe something to do with the islands. Hawaii, maybe, or Paradise. No, those aren't right. SuperSeal over there found you, so how about Seelie? No, I know! Selkie! That's it?"

"Selkie?" Steve said.

"Yes, Selkie. It's a creature from Celtic mythology, like a mermaid, only they change into seals."

"I know what a selkie is," Steve said.

"Then why did you ask?!" He addressed the cat again. "What do you think, Selkie? Does that fit you?"

"Now who's naming it," Steve pointed out.

"Naming it?! I'm not naming it. I'm just suggesting you could do better than Mama Cat."

"Like Selkie."

"Exactly."

Steve and Grace shared a look. Grace wouldn't be getting a kitten, but it looked like a cat might not be out of the question. Steve shook his head when Grace opened her mouth. They had to go slowly.

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Steve didn't say anything over the next few weeks. He pretended he didn't know that Danny brought over bits of fresh tuna and fed them to Mama Cat—no, Selkie. The name seemed to have stuck—while Steve was getting ready in the morning. He didn't comment on the fact that when they watched tv together, Selkie slept on Danny's lap. He didn't point out that Danny talked about her almost as much as Steve talked about the kittens. Steve just bided his time.

A few weeks later, Danny was helping Steve round up the family to go to the vet for their final round of shots. "So, I guess they're leaving soon," he said.

"Yeah," Steve said, put NJ into a carrier with Tabby, who was sleeping soundly as usual.

"I can't believe you talked Lou and Kono into taking kittens."

"Yeah, Lou thought his kids would like them, and Kono's lonely with Adam in jail."

"Lucky you. You'll get to see them regularly."

"Yeah, that'll be nice." Steve picked up Sylvia, giving her extra cuddles. She wouldn't be coming back with them—Xenia was taking her home.

"So, I guess that just leaves Selkie."

"Uh-huh," Steve said neutrally.

"Did you find anyone to take her?" Danny tried to sound casual, but Steve could tell he was more invested in the answer than he let on.

"Nope. I asked at the vet's, and no one wanted her." Okay, he hadn't, but Danny didn't need to know that. "And Lou and Kono were adamant about wanting kittens." Again, a lie. Kono had offered, but Steve had declined.

"So what are you going to do with her?" Danny said, still trying to sound casual. "Are you going to keep her?"

This was it. "Nah," Steve said, "two cats is enough."

"You're not going to take her to the pound, are you?"

"I might have to, if I can't find someone to take her." He wouldn't, but Danny didn't need to know that either. Steve pretended to have a brainstorm. "Why don't you keep her?"

"Are you insane?" Danny asked. "Why am I even asking? Of course you're insane. I don't want a cat. I already told Grace she couldn't have a cat. Why would you even think I want a cat?"

"You named her," Steve pointed out.

"I told you, it was convenient! You couldn't keep calling her Mama Cat! That's a ridiculous name!"

"Uh-huh," Steve said neutrally.

"I do not want a cat," Danny said. "I have no intention of ever getting a cat. I don't even like cats."

"So why have you been petting her for the last five minutes?" Steve asked.

Danny looked down. He'd picked Selkie up to put her in her carrier, but somehow she hadn't made it that far. She was still in his arms, and he was, indeed, petting her. He put her in the carrier. "I already have a dog. What would he think?"

Steve could tell he was weakening. "Bullet won't mind. He's already met her, remember."

It was true. Grace had taken what she called "family pictures" with Bullet and all six cats. The kittens had swarmed all over Bullet, and he'd patiently put up with it. Selkie had ignored him when he came up to sniff her, but at least she hadn't lashed out.

Danny sighed. "Okay, fine, I'll take her." He held up a finger as Steve went to say something. "But only if she gets along with Bullet. Deal."

Steve grinned. He knew Bullet wouldn't have a problem. It was a done deal. "Deal."

Danny raised the carrier to his eyes and looked at Selkie. "So I guess you're coming home with me, babe. What do you think of that?"

Selkie meowed.

Danny grinned. "Yeah, I think that's a pretty good idea, too."

Steve just smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: So I had every intention of this being a one-shot, but forgot to mark it complete, so I had people asking for more. I told them this was complete, but there would be a follow-up where Selkie goes to Danny's (there will be, from Selkie and Bullet's POV, plus ones on Kono and Lou getting their kittens). Then, a guest wanted a story of Danny and Steve shopping for Selkie, so I opened this up again. There will be one more chapter on getting her _kitted_ out. :)  
**

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Having decided to keep Selkie, Danny wasted no time. He was determined to take her home that day, so after they were done with the vet, Steve dropped the three remaining kittens at home, and Danny, Steve, and Selkie drove to PetSmart. When they got there, Danny insisted on taking Selkie inside.

"But why?" Steve asked.

"We need her input," Danny said.

"She's a cat!"

"You brought Ninja when we got things for him," Danny pointed out.

"That's because I'd just adopted him!"

"Well, I just adopted Selkie."

Steve thought about pointing out that Ninja was along because Steve had just adopted him _at PetSmart_ , but decided it was a losing battle. There was no arguing with Danny when he got something in his head. So, the three of them headed into PetSmart.

Danny promptly comandeered a cart and put Selkie in it. "First we have to get her a carrier," he said.

"I already got her a carrier," Steve protested.

"You got her a tiny, horrible, yucky, boring plastic carrier. She needs something snazzy. You wouldn't put Ninja in one of these, would you?"

Steve declined to say that yes, he would. He'd only gotten the soft-sided, night sky-patterned carrier at Danny's insistence. Steve didn't see why one of the plastic carriers wasn't perfectly adequate. But he held his tongue.

Danny perused the carriers, holding Selkie up so she could see. "What do you think, sweetheart? See any you like?" Selkie meowed. "Yeah, you're right; they're awfully garish. No way I'm getting you any sort of Hawaiian print." He perused the selection, finally spotting one in a wavy pattern in sea colors. "Here you go. What do you think of this?" Selkie meowed again. "I agree. It's perfect." Danny put the carrier on the ground and opened it. He opened the carrier Selkie was in and carefully lifted her out, putting her in the new carrier. He shoved the old carrier at Steve. "Here."

"What am I supposed to do with this?" Steve demanded.'

"I don't know. Get rid of it."

"Where?" Steve asked.

Danny thought a moment. "Why don't we take it to the adoption area? I bet the rescue groups could use an extra carrier."

Steve thought that was an excellent idea, so they headed over there. They intended to just leave the carrier with a note, but they were lucky enough to find a volunteer feeding the cats. She ooohed and ahhhhed over Selkie and gratefully took the carrier. That accomplished, Steve, Danny, and Selkie resumed shopping.

Beds were next. "What do you think?" Danny asked.

"Are you asking me or the cat?" Steve asked snarkily.

"You. What kind of bed does Ninja like?"

"Bullet's," Steve said honestly.

"She has to have a bed of her own," Danny insisted. "Now, help me. Do you like the round bed, or the domed one."

"The round. If Ninja wants to hide, he goes into the hidey-hole of his perch."

"Great. Now, what color?"

Steve threw his hands in the air. "How should I know?"

"You've been through this."

"Yeah, and if I recall, you grabbed the first bed that came to hand and told me to get it."

Danny just glared at him. Steve sighed and pointed to a seafoam colored bed. "How about that one? It matches her carrier."

"Perfect." Danny loaded it in the cart. Steve wouldn't have been surprised if Danny had lifted Selkie out of her carrier to try it out, but he didn't. They moved on to the next item on their list: cat perches.

Danny studied the perches with the same intensity he'd studied beds and carriers. This time Steve anticipated the question, and he actually had an answer. He pointed. "That one."

"That one?" Danny parroted. "That's the one Ninja has."

"Yes, and he loves it."

Danny had to admit Ninja did, indeed love his perch. It had two platforms and a hidey-hole in the bottom, so he could either survey the world from above, or lie in wait for unsuspecting victims, or curl up in a safe spot. "Okay, that one." He moved off.

"Wait," Steve called after him. "Aren't you going to put it in the cart?"

"There's no room," Danny replied.

"So how are you going to get it to the checkout stand?"

"You're going to carry it," Danny said, as if it were obvious.

"I can't lug a six foot cat tree around PetSmart!"

Danny conceded the point. "Maybe they'll hold it at checkout. Why don't you go see about that while I get food? We can meet in toys."

"What, you don't want my opinion on food?"

"Nah, I already know the one you feed Ninja is a good one."

They moved off in their separate directions. Steve dropped off the perch and found Danny in the toy section. He'd already loaded a spinner you could put balls in for the cat to bat them and several pole toys—one that was a long, tinsel ribbon, one with feathers, and one with a bobble. He was contemplating balls when Steve found him.

"Jingle or not? Solid or mesh?"

"I don't know. Get whatever you want."

"What does Ninja like?"

"He doesn't like balls. He likes catnip mice."

"I'll get those, too." Danny threw a solid, non-jingle ball and a mesh, jingle ball in the cart and moved on to mice. He studied the array of fur and knit mice, with and without catnip, in various sizes. Steve waited for the inevitable question, but Danny just threw several different mice in assorted kinds and sizes into the cart.

"Why don't you just get one of each?" Steve asked sarcastically, then immediately wished he hadn't.

"Nah, these will do. I can always get more if she doesn't like them."

Steve almost suggested Danny toss them into the aisle and let her choose, but he stopped himself just in time. Danny would probably take him seriously. Instead he asked, "Are we done yet?"

Danny studied the basket. "Yeah, I think we're done."

Steve sighed in relief. "Great. Let's go home."

Danny grinned. "Home. I like the sound of that."

Selkie meowed in agreement.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N Thanks to sue2556 for the inspiration for this chapter and the last. Actually, she suggested a catio for Selkie because "wouldn't a majestic creature like Selkie deserve her own palace?" I just kind of ran with it. :)

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Steve was surprised to see Danny waiting for him when he got back from his swim on Saturday. It wasn't the crack of dawn, but it was still earlier than Danny liked to be up on the weekend without a really good reason. Steve wondered what it was.

Danny didn't keep him waiting long. "We have a project," he announced.

"What kind of project?" Steve asked warily. Danny on a mission could be a scary thing.

"We are building a cat castle."

"We are?" Steve asked blankly. This was news to him.

"We are," Danny said firmly.

"What the hell is a cat castle?"

Danny showed him his phone, which displayed an elaborate—well, castle—constructed of cardboard, with a cat perched on the battlements. He flipped through various images, all showing variations of the same thing.

"Why are we building a cat castle?"

"For Selkie," Danny said, as if it were obvious. Which, Steve supposed, it was. He decided to rephrase his question.

"Why does Selkie need a cat castle?"

Danny looked at him as if he were an idiot. "For hiding and observing."

"What's wrong with her perch?"

"This is better," Danny said.

"Where'd you get the idea, anyway?" Steve asked curiously.

"I was looking through your old Make magazines and saw it. That was just a small one built into the wall, though, so I went looking online and saw these."

"Because of course a small castle wouldn't do," Steve said. He meant it to be sarcastic, but Danny ignored that.

"No, of course not."

They entered the house, and Steve sat down at his computer. "Let's see what you've got."

Danny typed "diy cat castle" into the search engine. A dizzying array of results came up.

"So was there any particular one you had in mind?" Steve asked.

"Big," Danny said.

Steve rolled his eyes. "That's helpful, thanks." This time Danny didn't miss the sarcasm.

"I didn't get a chance to scroll through them all, okay?" he said defensively.

"Okay." Steve scrolled through the results. "So, cardboard or plywood?"

"Plywood," Danny said promptly. "It's more durable."

"Okay." Steve typed "plywood diy cat castle" into the search engine. The result set was only slightly smaller, but at least it was more focused. He clicked on the first link. "This one looks good. It's big, but it'll still fit in your living room, it's carpeted inside so it's comfortable, and it's covered in carpet so she has a scratching post, too."

Danny looked at the image. "Perfect."

Steve scrolled through the article. "These are just general directions, though. There aren't any plans."

Danny clapped Steve on the shoulder. "That's where you come in."

"Me?"

"Yes, you. You're good at that sort of thing. Shouldn't be any problem for you to draw up plans."

Steve had to admit Danny was right. He fetched a pad of graph paper and set to work, looking at the article and sketching, chewing thoughtfully on the pencil from time to time, face intent.

Danny occupied himself watching a recorded game while Steve worked. After a while, Steve called him over. "See what you think of this."

Danny looked at the drawing, then at the image on the computer. "Looks great. Let's get started."

They headed out to Lowe's to get what they needed, taking the Silverado because there was no way the wood would fit in the Camaro. Danny trailed behind Steve as he carefully selected and measured the wood, taking it to be cut into the proper size. Then they headed to the carpet department where Danny picked out the carpet to cover the castle. He select a nice, silver gray. "To match Selkie's fur," he said.

Steve just rolled his eyes. "Fine. Let's go."

They loaded everything in the Silverado and headed to Steve's. They took the material into the garage and set the wood on the worktable. Steve set to marking the design on the wood and cutting it out. As Steve finished each piece, Danny cut the carpet and covered them.

At last all the pieces were ready, so it was back to the Silverado and over to Danny's. They carried everything into the house, moved Selkie's perch to one side, and set to work. Selkie watched curiously from the top of the perch.

"This is for you, sweetheart," Danny crooned. "What do you think?"

Selkie meowed and continued to watch until the sound of the drill drove her under Danny's bed.

Bullet, naturally, had to get in on the act, too. He was all over the place. He sniffed the wood as they brought it in, then sat down on the pile while Steve and Danny got out the tools they'd need.

"Hey, get off that!" Danny exclaimed when he noticed Bullet.

Bullet woofed softly and wagged his tail. Danny shoved at the dog, trying to move him. Bullet just lay down. Finally, Danny got a dog biscuit and threw it in Bullet's pen. The dog bounded after it, and Danny shut the door. That didn't stop the dog from eagerly watching, though.

Danny and Steve worked diligently with occasional breaks for beer. At last they were done. They moved the castle into place, put the perch back where it belonged, and stood back to admire their handiwork.

"Not bad," Steve said.

"Not bad at all, if I do say so myself," Danny agreed. He noticed Selkie had crept out from under the bed and was sniffing the castle curiously. "Don't you agree, sweetheart?"

Selkie poked her nose through one of the doorways and disappeared inside. She reappeared and moment later and stretched out on the battlement. "I think she approves," Danny said.

"She'd better," Steve grumbled. "We put enough work into it."

Danny let Bullet out, and it was his turn to survey the creation. He stuck his nose inside. "Hey, hey, hey, not for yout!" Danny cried.

Bullet sat back and whimpered.

Selkie dangled her tail over the wall and waved it enticingly in Bullet's nose, clearly rubbing it in. Bullet started barking at her. Danny wrapped his hands around the dog's muzzle. "Knock it off!"

Bullet whimpered, and Danny let go, relieved when the dog stayed silent.

"So," Danny said to Steve, "shall we build one for Ninja?"

"Absolutely not," Steve said.

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A/N: Make magazine actually did have a project for a cardboard cat castle about 10 years ago. I was searching the web for the design when I came across all these others, so the story shifted a bit. :)


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